The First Leg (an Introvert in Unknown Territories)

I have talked about friends before and will continue to talk about it because it is a new field for me. I am not one who keeps many friends. This is not a harsh judgment of the people whom I do not regard as friends but instead a positive review of the few that I choose. This rings true for one of my best friends.

The first four days of my expedition into the unknown of my comfortlessness I drove to see her. Let it be known, I hate driving. Travel, in general, is rough when I must do it on my own (but I think I will save this for a different post). I had done no planning beforehand and I had never been to her apartment. I didn’t know what I was getting into. 

It didn’t turn out bad it actually went well. On top of that, I wasn’t worried about it beforehand like I usually would. I had let it go and it led me not to worry.

My friend worked a lot while I was there, so I spent a lot of time on my own reading, relaxing, and recharging my battery for the craziness that I assumed would be ahead. This time was invaluable because I was coming off of my toughest college semester and going into a time of unknowns. 

What did I learn or relearn at my friends’ house?

I need my time to be alone but some people can give me energy. She is one of the very few people that gives me just enough energy to keep up the conversation with her. It is a net-zero but that is very good for me because net positives don’t exist where people are concerned. 

I found that I don’t need to plan absolutely everything and that even when I don’t plan, I do. I had contingencies plans that were unknown to me but I had still made. This tells me that I am who I am regardless of how “chilled out” I try to be. I am a planner and within that, I am a subconscious planner. My mind plans things out for me and just computes and answer that I don’t have to work on. 

In conclusion, I am always planning and perhaps it would be better on my stress levels to let my subconscious take more of the work. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous to let things go and that I didn’t have a few mental breakdowns along the way. That is why I think that I need to let go of some of the planning but maintain the broad control of my life. This could be helpful for you if you are an introverted planner like me.

Is there anyone who gives you a “net-zero” on your energy? How much do you plan your life?

Please feel free to email me any questions, stories, themes, or ideas I am grateful for all your contributions.

My email is evilholmess@gmail.com

My Instagram is @evi.l.holmes 

My Twitter is @RealEvilHolmes

-Evi. L. Holmes

Before the Beginning (An Introvert In Unknown Territories)

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”- Neale Donald Walsh

How did I arrive at this month and a half of living outside my comfort zone and why did I choose to do it? 

I am so glad you asked!

As you know if you have been following the blog, I am an introvert. Shocking, I know, an introverted writer with a blog. So, what makes me different? And how does that affect this series? 

I am an introvert that grew up in a family of five extroverts. They have always pushed me and though, at the time, I did not appreciate the discomfort at the time, I believe I have grown from the experience.

In business, they have stretch goals. These stretch goals should be a part of everyone’s life. Almost every time I have been stretched in my life, the results have been beneficial. As an introvert, it can be difficult to push myself outside of my comfort zone and sometimes to leave my house, so I have to constantly push myself in order to grow outside of my own safe space. 

As I am living on my own and navigating relationships with other people that are not my family, I find myself outside of my comfort zone more and more. I need to put myself in situations where I would need to grow so that I can, not only, get outside of my comfort zone, but instead expand my comfort zone. 

If I ever want to get into a relationship I need to learn to loosen up and get outside of my comfort zone because my future significant other will most definitely be outside of my comfort zone. (There will be more about this throughout the series)

What did I actually decide to do?

Over winter break I took three trips. I started by visiting my friend in Virginia. Then I flew to Africa to visit my parents, with my two sisters. Finally, I flew to Wisconsin to visit some more friends. 

Now, I am a planner. I don’t like surprises and I usually planned for anything and everything to go wrong. This break I did not plan much at all. I knew, generally, where I was going. I knew my flights and where I would be when and that was it. I didn’t know where I would be sleeping. I knew nothing about my friend’s houses. I asked no one what we would do when I was there. I completely let go of control in every situation. 

This was terrifying for a planner like me. However, I have grown through this experience and I cannot wait to share it with you. 

When was a time that you stepped out of your comfort zone? How did it go?

Please feel free to email me any questions, stories, themes, or ideas I am grateful for all your contributions.

My email is evilholmess@gmail.com

My Instagram is @evi.l.holmes 

My Twitter is @RealEvilHolmes

-Evi. L. Holmes