Before the Beginning (An Introvert In Unknown Territories)

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”- Neale Donald Walsh

How did I arrive at this month and a half of living outside my comfort zone and why did I choose to do it? 

I am so glad you asked!

As you know if you have been following the blog, I am an introvert. Shocking, I know, an introverted writer with a blog. So, what makes me different? And how does that affect this series? 

I am an introvert that grew up in a family of five extroverts. They have always pushed me and though, at the time, I did not appreciate the discomfort at the time, I believe I have grown from the experience.

In business, they have stretch goals. These stretch goals should be a part of everyone’s life. Almost every time I have been stretched in my life, the results have been beneficial. As an introvert, it can be difficult to push myself outside of my comfort zone and sometimes to leave my house, so I have to constantly push myself in order to grow outside of my own safe space. 

As I am living on my own and navigating relationships with other people that are not my family, I find myself outside of my comfort zone more and more. I need to put myself in situations where I would need to grow so that I can, not only, get outside of my comfort zone, but instead expand my comfort zone. 

If I ever want to get into a relationship I need to learn to loosen up and get outside of my comfort zone because my future significant other will most definitely be outside of my comfort zone. (There will be more about this throughout the series)

What did I actually decide to do?

Over winter break I took three trips. I started by visiting my friend in Virginia. Then I flew to Africa to visit my parents, with my two sisters. Finally, I flew to Wisconsin to visit some more friends. 

Now, I am a planner. I don’t like surprises and I usually planned for anything and everything to go wrong. This break I did not plan much at all. I knew, generally, where I was going. I knew my flights and where I would be when and that was it. I didn’t know where I would be sleeping. I knew nothing about my friend’s houses. I asked no one what we would do when I was there. I completely let go of control in every situation. 

This was terrifying for a planner like me. However, I have grown through this experience and I cannot wait to share it with you. 

When was a time that you stepped out of your comfort zone? How did it go?

Please feel free to email me any questions, stories, themes, or ideas I am grateful for all your contributions.

My email is evilholmess@gmail.com

My Instagram is @evi.l.holmes 

My Twitter is @RealEvilHolmes

-Evi. L. Holmes

New Friends…..Oh, No! (An Introvert in Unknown Territories)

Authors note: “This is the first post in a series about introversion and how that is affected by different things. Over the last month and a half, I have intentionally put myself outside of my comfort zone. So, this series will focus on what happened and my experience. I’ll do it so you don’t have to. But I am hoping that my experiences will encourage you to take the first step outside of your comfort zone because that is how you grow.” #outsidemybubble

At the beginning of this school year I, accidentally, made a new friend. He is an extrovert. I grew up with five extroverts, I’ll be fine. With extroverts, it is all about doses. If you can getaway. 

This extrovert is one of the ones that really does know everyone on campus. So, hanging out with him means I started to actually get to know people and even worse they started to know me. I had lost some of my invisible nature. 

I now have a group of “friends” and it is a rather interesting experience. I can honestly say that I have never really been a part of a group. It is exhausting. This past weekend, I spent way too much time with people. I was with people almost 100% of the time that I was awake. 

Now, as an introvert, spending this much time with people (especially groups of them) for any amount of time is taxing. They were interesting but I am paying for the interactions now.

I am normally a morning person (this is a little bit off because of college but I tend to go to sleep by 11 pm). However, I stayed up to 2:30 am on Friday and got up at 1:30 pm on Saturday. This is highly abnormal and I know exactly why I needed the extra sleep. 

I feel like every drop of energy has been drained from my body and all I want to do is sleep for 24 hours and stay away from humans for as long as possible. 

So, are friends worth it? Are groups even an option, for an introvert?

I have found that there are people that do not drain me, they do exist (and I have found some lovely ones). These are the people that I gravitate towards. There are some who I deem “blood-sucking energy vampires.” I try to avoid them at all costs. This semester I made friends with an extrovert like that and I had to push her away because it was too much. 

It is great to have non-draining extroverts but not in groups. Unfortunately, they like to be in groups. Groups are an option but in moderation. You must be aware that you will feel drained after any interaction, and I am sure you are already aware of this. Do not overdo it. Even if you find people that are not super draining, take care of yourself and do not overdo it. You will pay and be completely wiped out like I am right now. It will take weeks for me to be myself again. 

Boundaries are necessary and usually something that I am good at. However, I have been in a mode and mindset of growth. This means I am letting people into my life and although this is a healthy and good thing, it can be draining so awareness is key.

Not every group of people is completely exhausting but the time spent with any group needs to be offset with alone time, or you will sleep for ages. 

Do you feel drained by people? Are there people that you feel like you can talk to forever without feeling drained?

Please feel free to email me any questions, stories, themes, or ideas I am grateful for all your contributions.

My email is evilholmess@gmail.com

My Instagram is @evi.l.holmes 

My Twitter is @RealEvilHolmes

-Evi. L. Holmes